Here’s a little secret…
My goal since approximately 21 Y/O (2015) was to be the first Asian Prime Minister of Canada.
I wasn’t delusional and neither hasty. I also don’t believe that a Prime Minister should be young (unless you perhaps desired to be the longest running PM in history as it seems JT is trying) – because they would be privy to confidential & privileged information on the inner workings of government.
The natural trend as observed is individuals being PM, then going to lobbying or consulting – which is unfair to the public in my opinion because of the sensitive information, experience, and knowledge they possess.
Instead IMHO after their tenure as PM (typically 8 years, the way our current Western “democratic” politics works is people think the grass is greener on the other side and get fed up with the present – then after 8 years go the other way, rarely 4 – unless you’re Trump. If you’re great at politicking, or genuinely seeking for the good of the country – people can tell B.S. or genuine care as the public did with Horgan being a genuine politician – then perhaps longer…. health & will permitting.) having served their country and people to the best of their ability and already made the world (at least their country) better than they had then, they should retire into the sunset, and do mentoring or business privately.
So I had my intentions and my plan with a life goal of running for public office when in my 50s – building up preparations till then. I had done so with the mindset of reforms I wanted to do if bestowed the privilege of being prime minister, 30+ years later, intending for the good of the public. The goal was a fiscally-prudent socialist state. (running under the Conservative banner lol – personally, I lean mostly Conservative but also what irony to have a Conservative PM with socialist ideals, liberal considerations, and conservative practice.) It’s said the art/work is a reflection of the artist/worker. Of course, with my nature often talking about my faith – a habit for years, as it was important to me – I’d be tacitly expressing my faith of Christianity and its principles as well in governance… which I personally believe, and by anecdotal evidence observing America, Israel, and even China (more on that later – will put it in the comments as an appendix, <<Refer to Appendix A1 – Emperor Taizong of Tang>> regarding Emperor Taizong of Tang’s Imperial Edict; Emperor Taizong was one of the most respected emperors in China’s history… a rationalist, and benevolent leader whose governance became studying material for future crowned princes – the period of his reign was considered a golden age in China with peace & prosperity. The opinions of an insane heretic like Trump or Hitler may not mean much, but the opinions of a truly tried & tested leader, respected by his people, ought to be considered …in my humble opinion at least. Ultimately, with this said, God is judged by no wo/man, but wo/men is judged by God; in that our definition of morality, good & bad, or right & wrong is not dictated by humanity but God much as how philosophically it could be agreed that the absence of God implicitly means there is no right or wrong – in short, we cannot be more lawful than God, more just than God, more compassionate than God, more rational than God, more intelligent than God, or more loving than God – hence, as the creation and not the creator, we have no capacity or right to judge God <such as when Oprah said she doesn’t respect God because the Bible says God is jealous God> Romans 9:1, Isaiah 45:9. The Bible puts it more succinctly in saying – “No one is good but One, that is, God.” Mark 10:18. Basically our definition of good should equal everything God is… any other variation is our own human frailty, intellectual limitations, and misunderstanding. <much as how science itself including physics & space & history/archaeology is constantly being revised over the past millenniums as we discover a more correct & accurate picture closer to the truth than what we as humans had formerly theorised and concluded based on the limited knowledge and myopic viewpoint we had. More visually, consider an ant trying to understand the vast landscape of the human world – or the popular photo of two individuals where the offender or victim depends on which frame you choose to capture <can’t find it now but it’s the moral photo to teach perspectives that made it rounds on social media where it looks as if a preparator is stabbing someone but when you zoom out, that supposed preparator is actually fleeing that someone being kicked>. TL;DR – the problem is our interpretation/view-point, absent of the bigger picture, or lack of knowledge when we think we have any capacity to judge God. Hence, we can blame humans – but never God. My personal belief is I can blame myself, I can blame others, but I can never blame God – for He is the only One who is good & perfect, without sin.) is healthy and beneficial for society.
(They say politics and religion are two topics you avoid talking among friends; so I suppose, if you’re going to get into politics, you may as well get into religion too eh? 😂😂😂)
In realities the Bible teaches justice (Micah 6:8), righteousness (Isaiah 57:2), equity (Proverbs 20:3), fairness (Proverbs 11:1), refusing bribes (Exodus 23:8), rejecting corruption & judging fairly (Deuteronomy 16:19-20), caring for the poor (Proverbs 29:7), obedience (1 Samuel 15:22), respecting order & governance (Romans 13), and the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20).
<<Refer to Appendix A2 – 10 Commandments for Society>>
IMHO, the Ten Commandments are poignant & pivotal principles for the prosperity of society; these are basic tenets that make society function safely & securely.
[Tangent – Yes, the Bible is about the finished work of Christ, but its teaching has also benefited society at large… the Chinese knew it and so did the forefathers of America, and the United Kingdom – did you know, one of the Queen/Sovereign’s titles is “Defender of the Faith” for the Church of England?]
In summary, “to do justly, to love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8), having the foundation that which you do knowing (1) “whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” <Colossians 3:23> and (2) people are made in the image of God, and you are to love your neighbour <Genesis 1:27, Mark 12:31>… a crevice, as there often is one, the Bible also teaches to hate what is evil <Romans 12:9> – Tangent: Aristotle had this principle abstractly, “a friend to all is a friend to none”; well more exactly, “it is possible to be a friend to many by simply being a good person; however, one cannot have with many people the same relationship that is based in virtue and character”. (If God is good, and you love God, then you hate what is evil – as defined by the Bible, not by the inclinations or will of man which then would be dangerous.)
So if you govern (or live) knowing that one day, you will be fully accountable to God. Every breath, every word, every power. Then, you would (if rational) thread carefully and considerably, seeking to “do justly, love mercy, walk humbly” with your God. The natural result of accountability. (The Bible teaches that being a teacher is not necessarily a good thing as they would be subject to stricter judgement – James 3:1. The principle likewise applies to leadership, influence, & words – since the Bible teaches every vain word, every breath, and every power bestowed upon humans will one day be accounted for – Matthew 12:36. <IMHO that should give all of us peace, that one day justice will be appropriately meted out …even if not in this life – and there is a lot of injustice in this world since leaving Eden. No wo/man can right every wrong or stand against all injustice; you’ll exhaust yourself attempting to do so. God who sees everything, will one day judge everything and every breath – both the living, and the dead. 1 Peter 4:5, Romans 14:9> The popular Superman quote, “with great power, comes great responsibility” was first actually depicted and instructed in the Bible… which actually, you can see the gospel story abstractly within the Superman comic, which happens to be one of the most popular superheroes or comic franchise – I theorise, we all have innately a compass of truth within that resonates with stories we know reflect the truth… think of it akin to your subconscious mind or the basic software that come with your phone OS.) Doing your best to govern as underlings or subjects of God, with all wisdom and ability that He has enabled by election (not the election we think about but this word means the Sovereignty of God in choosing, essentially – such as how smart you are), and wisdom (a gift from God that can be requested as Solomon did). Tangent – The Chinese believed in the Mandate of Heaven bestowed to emperors and if they did unjustly, then it implied they have lost the Mandate of Heaven and the subjects are permitted to replace the ruler.
You can hide things, and your motivations and heart from wo/men (who are really fallible and impressionable) – but you cannot hide from God.
Tangent – By observation, the “radical grace gospel” is not rational – and is neither Biblical. People put extrapolations like “radical” to “grace” or “gospel” (which there is legitimately, the “grace of God” and the good news) typically for their own profit. If people coin a name, or use expolative words… It’s generally a good indication, they intend to brand & profit off religion. You must coin a term, to brand it, you must brand it for exclusivity to profit off it, recognition, or create a movement IMHO. (IMHO, no different from the false prophets in the old testament who would say “peace peace” while judgement was looming, for Israel’s disobedience. More relevantly, 2 Timothy 4:3, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.” Most people would dislike to hear hard news but would love to hear good news that they can do whatever they want – lie, cheat, steal… tangent on a tangent, wasn’t that what Steve Bannon admitted America did lol – and still be righteous. So the only rational conclusion is this verse isn’t about turning away from “grace”, as the “radical grace” preachers like to claim. Furthermore, it’s easy – as people who manipulate scriptures often do – to find one instance in the Bible abstractly <it’s 66 books; it says a lot. If you take 66 books, I’m sure you can find something you can use out of context to validate your cause and thesis.> then manipulated for a personal purpose… so typically, it’s good practice to emphasise something as much as the Bible emphasises it and not as much as the Bible emphasises it, perhaps a principle of proportion, no? So, it seems to make the point again in Jude 1:4.)
In reality, the Bible (and Christianity) has not changed for some 2000 years since Jesus walked on this earth openly, or all the way to the garden of Eden… for He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8 (our interpretation or records might have changed, but not the Word of God).
<<Refer to Appendix A3 – “Radical Grace” Hoax>>
Unfortunately, as mentioned, I’m not delusional – there are certain roles that are limited to higher intellect (no, as most of us know, you cannot be whatever you set your mind to – there are physical limitations). Certainly the #1 Job in Canada would require a minimum intellect for optimal service. (The PM isn’t necessarily the smartest person; certainly, there are many smart people who know that running for PM is probably not a smart decision. 😅 The role doesn’t pay enough for the grievances – unless you get utility from the prestige, power, pride – or genuinely, the potential for change and good: as I’d like to think most PMs have.) The flip side, is you can be selfish, mediocre and dumb and still be the PM if you hire/have the right communication specialists, strategists, and puppet masters. However, to be an effective PM for public good (IMHO the only worthwhile purpose if being subject to public scrutiny) and effective service – you’d need the stars to align (intelligence, in Christ, c-suite experience, charisma, character, close advisors, and clean closet – I just wanted to alliterate. Effectively you need health and a good IQ).
Sadly, as written in Ecclesiastes 9:18, “Wisdom is better than weapons of war; But one sinner destroys much good.” – with the schemes of an individual – which for relevance, anonymity, and ease of reference – we shall refer to henceforth as ‘the wicked’. In short, the wicked spent 5 years from 2011-2016 scheming for a seductress regardless the cost (to the point, I almost committed suicide in 2015 due to the confusion from the wicked’s mind games who specifically told my dad she was using reverse psychology on me <among other tactics> to try and confuse me so I couldn’t oppose her schemes to use my grandmother – dad’s mother, whom she had formerly disparage and brainwash me to distant from my grandmother <apparently my grandmother spoke bad about her when I was kid, and my brother told her but not me so she held this against her and me> – to give false witness to her mother to let her brother – Eric Woo – marry the secretary he slept with resulting in a messy divorce from his wife). The wicked literally didn’t care if I was dead or alive, pinching myself, suicidal during that period – in fact, she called me demon possessed <while I was daily reading the Word and praying; as it was my minimal respite against the wicked’s mind games, schemes, and manipulation… while she admitted to having never read the Bible at all during that period, after the fact – when she emailed in 2016 ish and claimed she realised it was indeed a mistake scheming for the secretary.> and laughed then claimed I was acting when I almost killed myself. <Funnily enough, everyone in contact with the wicked come to the point of suicide or needing psychatraic medication including my cousin from New York who visited Vancouver for an internship in 2015, the period while I was MIA, who later mentioned she almost committed suicide while in Vancouver and found respite from fitness/weight-training… or my brother who ended up on psychatraic medication for sleep while the wicked was living with him in Waterloo, Ontario. If you believe in demon possession, I’d consider – logically – the symptoms are more reflective of the wicked being demon possessed. In fact, like clockwork, the wicked would always knock on my door for the most frivolous reasons or randomly start making loudest pot banging the moment I begun praying – while I was staying with them periodically up to 2015 – to the point, I’d go out to pray to avoid being interrupted. The wicked has an uncanny pattern of accusing others of things the wicked does/have… more on that later.> Kind of detailed it abstractly on Facebook before here: https://vancityasks.com/go/fb042121post
(That was likely how the wicked found the page, when I was running ads to the Easter Post and the wicked began following everything I posted, then emailing me with weird, out of context emails pretending to be religious and holy or to think alike. Hence, part of the reason for the MIA this time to get away.)
This (scheming, deception and lies trying to help the secretary marry her brother) continued till 2014 (from 2011 – you can’t say the wicked isn’t persistent and long-term focused). There was in 2014 a large quarrel and I told the wicked intently, if she continued scheming for the seductress – the “family” would be broken forever. The wicked didn’t care – faced with the choice of loyalty and priorities between the “family” and the secretary, the wicked chose the secretary. So, there was a clear choice made which revealed the priorities – that the wicked chose the secretary & pride & money than the “family”. (Now the wicked goes around and brainwashes my dad to believe that I threw away “family” for pursuing pride and money… When honestly, money is least of my focus – and most things I do are done anonymously. I refrain from telling anyone anything I do… except my dad abstractly as I formerly trusted his advice. <Unfortunately, learning later the wicked reads all my dad’s emails & texts… then lies about it.> In contrast, the wicked would constantly boast about her brother’s money and also that her brother ONLY trusted her <while then speaking horrendously about him behind his back – that he was only money-minded and always used people including her… to the point that I built resentment against the wicked’s brother, as I am emotionally loyal.> – likewise, anything my brother told her about his accomplishments would be disseminated to everyone in the neighbourhood that it became common conversation in the clubhouse <as I found out when playing pool and some old lady thought I was my brother>. This goes back to the point about the pattern of the wicked accusing others of things the wicked does/is. Yet, the wicked has a way with manipulating minds and acting <much as why the wicked would think I was acting when having seriously contemplated killing myself with a knife in the kitchen back in 2015. It’s quite known that you would only expect someone to do something, you would have done yourself; clearly, I gathered from this that the wicked is very well versed in acting for sympathy and control.> – creating the problem then pretending to be the helper. So my dad began to blame me for breaking up the “family” when the root was the wicked. Then he started blaming God and became an apostate.)
(The truth is I’ve always valued family and was VERY emotionally loyal. I also expected faithfulness & loyalty from people I trusted, much as what was written by Aristotle earlier.)
In 2015, I pretty much gave up <as mentioned the suicidal period> and skipped all my exams at UBC then took a year away <I failed out and needed to take a year away – I was on academic probation formerly because the year before my average was under 60% accredited to the wicked using God’s name to even influence my course selection. The two courses the wicked had me take were the two courses I pretty much failed lol. Anyways I digress. The wicked just like controlling people and having people ONLY trust her, as her brother did. If anything succeeds by the wicked’s advice – the wicked would endlessly gloat over it and boast… that’s her measure of fulfilment I guess. So when I stopped listening to the wicked’s advice as I judged advice by the source – John 3:11 – the wicked resorted to using my dad and then God to try and control me.>
Just as the wicked also says “I’ve always been rebellious” when I’ve always been the goody-two shoes <all my relatives know this; I take it after my grandfather maybe, the “just follow law” type… significant contrast to my older brother who was running a large pirated movie site & mining bitcoin back in 2010. I refrain from doing anything that betrays my conscience. To his credit, the pirated movie site didn’t host the videos but directed to other sites so it wasn’t exactly illegal.>. I’ve come to realise what the wicked means here by “I’ve always been rebellious” is that I wasn’t easily controlled and manipulated by her to do her bidding as my older brother and dad are. (I was smart and strong-willed since young; if I set my mind on something I know is good – I have to do it without taking no as an answer – this characteristic does make for a good entrepreneur as I’ve read. I also like to win arguments – when I’m right, especially by quoting people’s words back to them word for word – in this case, as the wicked had a habit of changing her words. The wicked did begin a process of trying to break my strong will to win & succeed – for no apparent reason but to control… literally, complex mind games – hard to detail on Facebook with this already excessive long post already, but just irrational practice with the sole intent just to try and remove my determination to succeed or win in whatever I do.)
Admittedly, I was smart <emphasise WAS> since young. I valued family and family time. My older brother knew I was the smarter one lol, and most of my relatives always expected me to excel in school. I did. With this said, comparison is an endless game but simply living to be your best to the glory of your Creator; taking confidence from Christ than circumstance – as there will always be someone better, smarter, richer than you. Nothing wrong nonetheless with aspiring for greater. Life on earth is minutely short compared & contrasted to eternity – Psalms 62.
Anyways, I was – and always have been since young – the goody-two shoes. While it was cool & common in my middle school to gloat, compare, and brag about the latest shoplifting from some nearby convenience store – with an almost blind cashier from what I heard… I’d abstain from such bonding activities and mind my own things. Added that with being fat, without a cool fashion sense – thankfully, both points aged better lol. Exceptionally intelligent academically. And only one of three Chinese in the middle school in Ontario growing up. That made me prime picking to be severely bullied. Thankfully, I was able to finish most – especially mathematics – work within 1/3rd the time of my peers. In my free time in class, instead of fooling around as most of my classmates did – I’d finish all my assigned homework in school… so I could enjoy time at home with “family”, without the baggage from thinking of school. Some might call this compartmentalization; it was just a small way for me to prioritise family in my 14 Y/O mind so I did not bring the emotional baggage of being bullied home and was able to keep in my mind that home as a place of happiness and relaxation.
The short story didn’t become so short after I digressed; these days I lose track of my former flow of thought just seconds or minutes ago. (Taking a lot of time to think what I had wanted to do/say when previously I could visualise everything immediately and recall any relevant details automatically.)
Apparently, “I was so rebellious” that when going (regrettably at the behest of the wicked’s nephew) with the wicked’s brother and the secretary on a trip to KL and Malacca in 2012 I was left roaming the malls in KL alone because the wicked’s brother, secretary, and son wanted to watch a horror movie (speaking of which, thinking about it now – what is the logic of travelling to another country to watch a movie you can also watch movies in your country?) and it was late at night I was pretty much the only one in the mall alone in an unfamiliar city. I did not want to spoil their fun and I did not want to watch a horror movie – since I don’t find it productive scaring oneself. I control the content I consume strictly – looking only for productive content where possible. Also, knowing my brain automatically remembers almost everything and is able to replay anything when in context <if a topic comes up, my brain automatically remembers everything related to that topic, including word for word people have said – great for arguments… great also for never getting lost as I basically remember all landscape and buildings photographically… these days, I have to re-read what I just wrote to remember what I just wrote before this bracket.> Hence, I am very selective and cautious about the content I consume. I typically avoid most entertainment in horror or science fiction genres, and mostly consume non-fiction content like documentaries… along with foreign dramas <learning Chinese> that have morals or action movies <admittedly, it’s cool>. Digressing further, I used to like watching Singapore dramas <partly to learn Chinese, partly to see the scenery of SG that I missed, and also because the dramas used to have respectable and meaningful morals often based on the prevalent gov-based campaign… you might call it propaganda lol.> however these days the dramas have less thought and less social value <with morales, values, and educating the public… like previously the dramas taught family, loyalty, honour, glory.> Forgot to say the point of this – despite watching SG dramas, I will stop myself from finishing a series if it becomes too consuming <so some might say I only watch the boring dramas lol> or memorable/engaging <such as if too much graphic scenes much as in C.L.I.F 2 – a police drama, but got too in depth to the grotesque fictional crimes>. Much as drugs, you have control over the content you consume – but it’s much harder to control once it’s in you. After their movie, the secretary asked me if I wanted to go clubbing “since my parents weren’t around”. She didn’t know at 18 Y/O I’ve actually never been clubbing, nor had any interest in doing so for the matter of the fact – I make life decisions on my choice of leisure & entertainment with a preference towards choices that are productive, socially healthy, and personally healthy not based on my “parents” being present but my faith. Actually, I might be a kill-joy but I never understood the concepts of clubbing – the only time I’ve been to a club <even still at 28 Y/O now> was for a University Entrepreneurship Club event <they were leasing event space at the club>… when entering “The Red Room” in Vancouver during my first year of university I remember noticing the musky smell, the dark lighting, insanely loud speakers, and the cramped space – and remembered thinking to myself how being cramp in such an environment, inebriated, with a bunch of sweaty strangers breathing over each other – would be considered fun? I’ve also never been drunk, so maybe that might be part of the fun? <Admittedly, my fun was speaking and interacting with drunk floormates during my first year residence – they were friendly and said the funniest things while drunk. High-fiving them was a fun game! Watching their hand-eye coordination.> So apparently I was “always rebellious” that I refuse sub-par entertainment choices on my own <strong-willed> mind <for good – as in what I believe was productive.>. I would rather be in Singapore enjoying the delicious hawker food with my dad’s family – who are more genuine. (The wicked has also disparaged every single one of my dad’s family behind his back.) Was so thankful to be back in Singapore after the horrible trip in KL and Malacca (also didn’t like it was dirtier in KL).
Apparently, “I was so rebellious” that during the first year university, eager to make new friends and enjoy the HUGE & cool campus (one of the reasons that I really wanted to study at UBC was the sea-side campus along with the outdoors, green space, and nature – it’s a whole different experience studying on a dedicated campus to explore than just a school/building. The other was the international/global nature of UBC where you could meet international students, different mindsets, and grow perspectives like the world is – my economics highschool teacher said it well that if you study at a university as SFU, you’d see many of the same faces. I digress.) I found a couple Malaysian & Singaporean friends who wanted to check out a frat party. I thought it was a good idea to be a little outgoing and meet new friends during the first week of university, so I followed them along to the frat party joining them for the conversation along the way. However, taking a peek inside when we got there – my conscience wasn’t comfortable going inside as it was pretty rowdy <also admittedly I didn’t like one of the symbols I saw inside that I thought was contrary to my faith> so not wanting to be the kill joy, I told my new friends to enjoy themselves and I’d wait outside for them. Side story, one of my high school friends who tagged along and stayed behind apparently almost got raped <she was ok after all>; we rushed back to search for her <It was also likely the first time I prayed in tongues – tongues is a prayer in a language your mind does not know. You’re not out of control of your motor skills like speaking words so it’s not a possession… God is very respectful; He gives humanity free choice in obedience/disobedience as in choosing to acknowledge Him or not; He also gives us choice whether to pray by His Spirit. It serves several purposes; your knowledge of events is limited – when you pray what you do not know, you can pray for something you do not know as the Spirit prays. It also edifies and strengthens yourself – your soul/spirit. 1 Corinthians 14. After praying in tongues for a short while, I knew she was fine which indeed she was.> Certain environments are prone to danger more than others.
Apparently, “I was so rebellious” , by choice, I’ve never fonicated – had premarital sex, nor gotten in a romantic relationship for that matter. I just didn’t think I was ready for a relationship; “Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; And afterward build your house.” – Proverbs 24:27. (It makes sense as with relationships, comes responsibility – and so I wanted to be able to focus on my goals to be settled along the way before seeking a relationship. This concept about preparing your outside work, making it fit for yourself in the field, then afterward building your house/family is also instructed elsewhere in the Old Testament as a ceremonial law somewhere if I’m not mistaken, but I don’t remember it off the top of my head as I would before.) What was I hoping to say? Oh yeah, I know it’s common to get into romantic relationships for company, growth, experiences – it might also be good. However, on the basis of personal values – I didn’t think it was productive to seek out a romantic companionship (even if not physical) if you weren’t ready for marriage. This merely (a) puts a distraction to your work (b) puts a temptation for fonication (c) puts disappointment, pain, or unknowns – the variable which you must know if someone is willing to wait for you till you’re ready for marriage… it wouldn’t be fair to expect the other party to wait for you IMHO. These are just my thoughts of which I don’t necessarily have the most experience at the age of 28 Y/O but we each have the responsibility over our lives to live it according to our conscience, beliefs, & values accordingly as we seem best to do – and this is how I thought optimised my best chance of accomplishing my objectives and honouring God. It goes to the above point that certain environments are more prone to danger than others; I wanted to ensure my environment was not prone to danger on this point leading to shipwreck in my faith.
(Now this is more so to do with Christian teaching not to fornicate – having premarital sex. To each their own but it’s what I believe the Bible says and so it is what I try to live by in obedience knowing that the instructions that God gives are not to steal my joy or happiness but for my good – as you would when you trusted your parent’s advice. <I do probably lose out on fun – just as drugs might be fun – but it’s according to my priorities and importantly my conscience… which does not have fun, or even happiness as the #1 on the list. I honestly don’t care if I’m unhappy at times in this life, if I know I live for eternity; which often Biblically means doing good for others Matthew 6:19-20. Optimising for personal happiness is overrated IMHO.> I don’t criticise those who fonicate as I know it is commonplace to do so in modern society. The Bible actually teaches as Christians not to judge non-Christians who have not confessed to having Jesus as Lord. 1 Corinthians 5. Basically, the rules are enforced only if you CONSENT to the team and the rules of joining said team. Fair isn’t it? However, if you confess Jesus as Lord – then does it not mean that now “not I that live but Christ that lives in me” – that I do not do firstly what my flesh may will but what the Lord said… which is even the meaning of ‘Lord’ back in mediaeval days, no? Thankfully, you can always be sure whatever the LORD instructs you to do by His Word is good for you, and for society – as the Bible teaches love does no harm to his neighbour therefore love is the fulfilment of the law. Hence, it would be contradictory if something instructed and expected of you is bad for society in my opinion, which it isn’t. The Bible is never contradictory; just our interpretations and viewpoints as mentioned. Practically also, I see it also worthwhile to look for someone who doesn’t fonicate, if possible, when seeking for a life partner… doesn’t at all mean people who have premarital sex are not good people <some of the nicest people I know are homosexuals or fonicate – probably 99% of the population is either> but merely in my observation – if you can find someone who has waited till marriage then you would likely be able to trust faithfulness much easier. That makes life much easier when you can even defy circumstances/perceptions, because you trust the character and integrity of the person IMHO. <Of course, it’s better to not put the opportunity for temptation or misunderstanding in the first place, much as it’s taught to mitigate theft from your own employees by having accountability and systems – but personally I think it’s beautiful to be able just to trust someone because of their character and integrity.> If someone waited till marriage, then you know the only likelihood that cheating could happen is if the emotional relationship broke down <and not due to lust or heat of the moment> – which you have responsibility and hence control over <control and responsibility are interchangeable>. Also then, there’s no comparison lol. Alas, I highly doubt I would be able to find someone who also waited 30+ years by the time I’m ready to seek relationships haha, so maybe I might be a celibate LOL. Kidding.)
Now going on from the first example of being “rebellious” since young with turning away content that I don’t think to be productive for my mind. During my first year at university, one of my floormates introduced me to the show ‘Suits’ which was a great show <I didn’t watch many dramas or TV, so it was my first time watching it since it came strongly recommended by my floormates; Suits being common talk on the dorm floor.>. I found it very engaging and interesting with one caveat, I found there were too many instances of premarital sex such as with Harvey’s character that it normalized the behaviour in my mind. <We naturally aspire and mimic human behaviour of people we respect and admire. That’s why it’s important IMHO to have the right role models in society – much as China is setting moral guidelines for celebrities to be permitted.> <It’s said, when men call out women on their clothing choices to be more modestly dressed, it says more about the men and their self control, than the women – that’s true. I’m sure it’s fine for most people watching Suits but being 18 Y/O impressionable mind, in a university environment where casual sex was common – watching a sauve & smart lawyer, a winner, albeit ficticous lawyer, with many instance of fornication seem to have gotten to making me question my resolve not to. When I caught myself upon this line of reasoning and thinking, I decided to stop watching Suits; it was just better to turn off the temptation than try to control it. It’s still a great show now that I’ve matured further in my faith and life <I mean when you’re young, peer pressure is more innate even with intellect. Monkey see, monkey do.> <I got to watching Season 2 and 3 recently in 2022 – I signed up for Netflix for the first time in 10 years lol, to watch SWAT after watching several clips on Youtube – another excellent show. This I would really recommend – and I had extra days on my subscription remaining that I signed up just to watch SWAT… so being the Asian I am that I had to get the full value for my $10/month lol, I decided to watch Suits. I wonder if Prince Harry fell in love with Megan’s character more than Markle herself? As it’s easy to superimpose the character on screen to the person off-screen; Megan’s character as someone tenacious, determined, intelligent, and kind certainly has much allure. IMHO the character of a person is one of the most important trait to look for beyond the superficial that fades. I vaguely remember there’s a Bible verse in Proverbs that says this more succinctly but with the brain damage, my memory can’t call up automatically as it could. Actually I had similar mental strength, slightly lower, as the character Mike – before the brain damage.>
So thankfully I identified that when the wicked said I’ve always been “rebellious” meant that I wasn’t easily controlled by her. (Just as even my dad was… to the point of knowingly helping the wicked – who before that had repeatedly spoken ill of his mother for decades, effectively brainwashing, and would always stir up a quarrel/fight whenever my dad called his mom or vice versa… and she’d call the quarrel after the call, a “spiritual attack”, blaming it on my grandmother implicitly so eventually my dad stopped calling his mother. Once the quarrel was so bad, the wicked also called the police on my dad. – yet scheme for the secretary by now calling my grandmother frequently and then passing the phone to the wicked for her schemes and mind games. This is the messed up mind games and manipulations I’ve had to put up for years – the wicked likes to use “god” for her schemes… later in 2017 when trying to “reconcile” even claiming that her schemes were doing “god’s work” because “god love her family so much”… mind you, after claiming in 2016 it was a mistake and she had “peace when finally stop scheming”.)
This is also how I will always remember (even with the brain damage – doesn’t affect my long term memory as much) the wicked’s character and priorities – hence “reconciling” beyond the vow I made to God before leaving for Singapore in 2015 is always an impossibility. I had a habit since I was about 7-8 years old, to confess everything I did wrong or troubled my conscience to my parents or I wouldn’t be able to sleep (don’t ask me how that started – I really don’t know why). So I have had a habit of telling the wicked and my dad everything I did wrong from the page of 7 to about 14. The wicked actually blackmailed me to not oppose her scheming for the seductress or she’d tell others about the things I CONFESSED to them when I was a child. Literally, I see the wicked doesn’t care about anything but the wicked’s brother.
Following this (suicidal episode from the wicked’s mind games, failing out of university, and about to take a year away), I had vowed to God to sever all ties with the wicked forever in this life. In retrospect, when that happened it was exactly a year after I had warned the wicked that the family would be broken forever if the wicked continued scheming for the secretary. It wasn’t hasty but during a time of prayer (at the park again to avoid the wicked disturbing me when I pray) and I knowingly vowed to God. After which, despite having significant indecision, lack of confidence, inability to make decision (the result of the wicked’s mind games over year+ to break my willpower and decision making ability so I couldn’t oppose her schemes for the seductress), I suddenly had boldness, clarity, and decision ability again. (Until, I didn’t keep my vows to God.)
I knew I was going to fail out of university – this was May 2015 – since I had skipped all my final exams (not really caring about anything anymore). However, at that time I had prayed and asked God what I should do during the mandatory year away. I also wanted to get away from this all and get some quiet space. So I had planned to go MIA. I had planned for 3 months back in Singapore (intention of writing a book about SEO – had been doing digital marketing since ~2007… and was able by the grace of God to get many industry leaders interviewed about SEO – unfortunately, I didn’t get around to finishing the book when I got contacted by my dad while back in Singapore, leading back to the stucked cycle, because the wicked asked where I was and begun scheming in my life again – I had only told my dad I was going MIA and where I’d be heading, asking him specifically not to tell the wicked), 2 months to be in Los Angeles (the plan here was then to be working on a start-up idea I had since 2012 coming about on my way back from church), and 1 month for reflection in Victoria, BC (with the intention of working on this site while there). What was the point of this paragraph?
Oh yeah, so when I was back in Singapore (my relatives didn’t know I was back in Singapore; only my dad) – I attended mostly
TL;DR – I suffered repeated brain damage
=====
I know my (personal assessment of the) probability of being PM dropped 4 folds (from 85% confidence over 30 years to 21%), while my ability to serve at my best capacity (the only worthwhile state of doing so) has close approached 0%. Hence, with the change of situation, status, and state – so must come the change of dreams, objectives, and goals (acronym for dog – speaking of which, I should get a dog. Observationally, not by experience, if you marry someone, find a dog person ideally – the principle that “like attracts like”, hence, a person who likes a dog will typically reflect rationality, commitment, loyalty, and did I mention rationality? Cats are more a wild card – you have selfish cats and affectionate cats, so it’s harder to get clues on reflected character from cat owners. I digress.)
These days, it takes significant effort simply to think and remember what I had hoped to write so there’s no congruency to thought – needing to re-read what is written merely to remember where I was at. 🙁 (Comparatively, formerly I would be able to quote anything anyone said word for word after hearing it once – if it was of significance – and pretty much everything I’ve written by memory. Think a bit like Mike from Suits but to a slightly lesser extent. I especially had photographic memory of buildings so I would never get lost after viewing it once. Now what would have formerly taken 1/3rd the regular time to function, takes 5 times more time & effort – so basically ~2 times slower than regular. I regularly forget important, even basic, things to do – such as forgetting to recap an olive oil bottle after opening it.)
So indulge me with this last personal post (after will be non-personal posts or a social media assistant posting). Think of this like my manifesto – except instead of killing people (lest the wicked use that to call the police again lol) – my goals have changed. (This time, to do good within whatever limited capacity I can to the glory of God – but also, to take revenge – legally – against the wicked’s brother when I can… since it’s the only person the wicked really cares about, despite still speaking horrendously about him behind his back. I know this, because I have a habit of testing people and their motives. 1 Kings 3)
I had originally intended this post to focus on the key policies for societal good, which I hoped to be able to implement if I had gotten the privileged and rare opportunity to be PM in 30+ years time, since I don’t think it’s a likely occurrence anymore (being PM that is – without the original intellectual gifts or time I had since I’ve been treading water for 10 years basically – 5 years with the wicked scheming for the secretary, 5 years with the wicked scheming to control my life after reading my letter addressed to someone else, along with all my dad’s emails & texts.)
However, this post became more of a personal therapy session or obituary – writing everything that has happened and the lost dreams, hopes, goals, and aspirations… then living with the new realities of a damaged memory and lower intelligence. 🙁
The personal ranting has already gotten almost to a book-length lol, and hours in time (but therapeutic to have it written down). So maybe I’ll leave my original focus to another time… although I plan this to be my last personal post on this page for the time being. (Will still be leisurely posting about Vancouver’s upcoming election – especially about two NPA counsellors… however these are not personal posts.) So maybe never lol.